Homeland committee faces stock crisis
"I got to sell my stock," announced a panic-stricken Holger Danske as he rushed into the Homeland Security Committee assembled in the community hall where it was considering various options for getting rid of the pesky raccoon in the attic.
"I can't stand this up and down stock market," Holger wailed, waving some official looking documents. "One day I'm rich; the next day I'm poor. It's too much. I can't stand it any longer."
Are you a newspaper subscriber but you don't have a Digital Access account yet? https://secure.forumcomm.com/?publisher_ID=40&event=subscriber/lookup.
You will need your subscription account number and phone number. Not sure if you have an account? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we can help you.